Mama School: Now Officially Open for Business

Yesterday was the first time I said the words aloud in public. “We’re homeschoolers.”

Just like that. Flat fact. Not “We’re leaning toward homeschooling,” or “We’re considering homeschooling," or “We’re considering all the options.”

The power of words is tremendous. Saying a thing out loud breathes life into it, gives it shape and form. Saying a thing out loud makes the thing real.

And you know what? It felt good.

Of course, kiddo-schmiddo is nearly official kindergarten age now, which makes it easier. I never did know what to say to people who asked me about school. It started when she was a zygote. I remember being in a restaurant, and this nice blonde lady asking me if my kiddo-schmiddo was in school yet, and I just stared at her, perplexed. K-S was in a highchair trying to eat a straw at the time, so naturally I thought the nice blonde lady had a visual impairment. “No,” I said, kindly. “No, she’s not in school. She’s not even two yet.” And the nice blonde lady, without skipping a beat, shot back, “Neither’s mine. You gotta get her in school.”

Or what? I didn’t say. Or she’ll miss quadratic equations? The kid can’t even wipe her own butt! She needs to be in a roomful of other cookie-crumblers for 8 hours a day like she needs a hole in her head.

It’s funny how that always seemed to be the first question out of everyone’s mouth—friends, family, perfect strangers. “When are you going to put her in school?” Yeah, I know, conversation starter and all that. It’s just funny that nobody ever tried to start a conversation by asking what her favorite color is, or does she like to draw, or does she have a dog. For a culture that seems to have pretty much given up on education for the over-six set, we’re pretty obsessed with it when it comes to infants and toddlers.

Anyway, all that’s behind us now. From now on, when someone asks me if K-S is in school, I’ll tell them what K-S herself told the last kindly gentleman who enquired.

“Yes, I’m in school,” she exclaimed proudly. “Mama school!”